Lauren Lavín
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LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local youth pastor Marc Herrera is shredding with the Lord now after he died attempting to…
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James Knapp
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ERIE, Penn. — Local punk Jackson McCreedy is thought to be “rolling in dough” today, as his old Asian Man…
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Krissy Howard
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PFLUGERVILLE, Texas — Local woman Shelby Cardenas handled a semi-regular 2 a.m. scroll through her ex-girlfriend Melissa Hannan’s Instagram page…
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Patrick Coyne
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Former Vice President Joe Biden requested moments ago to perform a “physical challenge” in lieu of…
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Malcolm Whitfield
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ST. LOUIS — Time stood still today for local man Hayden Reed, who publicly identified as a “Democratic Socialist” and…
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Bobby D. Lux
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NEWARK, N.J. — Senator Cory Booker announced he will be suspending his bid for the 2020 presidency which unleashed an…
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Louie Aronowitz
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Toxic fandom is terrible. It’s sad to see wonderful works of art that bring so many people joy overrun with…
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IRVING, Texas — Senior ExxonMobil executive Robert Stone announced today that his company will donate millions of dollars toward rebuilding…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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Listen up, we all know the rules of being straight edge. No tobacco, no drugs, and no alcohol… through your…
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Tom Peters
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TACOMA, Wash. — Members of indie trio Shades of Hemingway surprised “superfan” and sole Patreon subscriber Artie Ravil yesterday by…
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