Bobby Korec
•
DENVER — Local police apprehended miscreant Max Yelban last night for mischievously shouting “Arcade Fire” in a crowded theater and…
Read More →
Claire Brown
•
CHICAGO — Pop-rock band and music video powerhouses OK Go recently celebrated reaching over one billion views on their YouTube…
Read More →
Cory Cousins
•
CINCINNATI — Brent Samuels, widely regarded as a terrible friend and questionable person all around, abruptly suspended his viewing last…
Read More →
James Knapp
•
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Punk and self-described “downfall of the establishment” Garreth Wilkes announced today that he will send a vicious…
Read More →
DETROIT — Joe Biden was seen pacing back and forth outside a local factory today, searching for the mother fucker…
Read More →
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to the Coronavirus "and other infectious diseases," clarifying that…
Read More →
Freelancer
•
WASHINGTON — The Democratic National Committee released a statement earlier this week urging all American citizens to exercise their right…
Read More →
Collin Canning
•
LUBBOCK, Texas — Psych-rock band Three Inch Teeth treated their drummer Mitchell Gauthier to a night on the town last…
Read More →
Dan Rice
•
ATLANTA — Patrons of Leatherman’s Bluff Sex Emporium were cresfallen today upon learning that Dark Spectrum, the clubs monthly “anything…
Read More →
Nyda Ahmad
•
KANSAS CITY — Local slob Donna McKenny agitated her roommates again yesterday with her claim that the mounting piles of…
Read More →
