SEATTLE — A new model from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington shows that…
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Nick Ortolani
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KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Margery Watson’s annual Mother’s Day breakfast-in-bed was obstructed by her unsightly ventilator due to complications from an…
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Patrick Coyne
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SPANISH FORT, Ala. — Millennial Thomas Cervantes proudly stated today that he’s old enough to remember when MTV still played…
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Klan member and conservative activist David Mount has changed his views on wearing masks in…
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DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no…
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Zach Russell
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NEW YORK — Local man David Treyborn realized today, while testing the flow of the new bidet attachment he purchased…
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Gregg Gethard
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GLENSIDE, Penn. — A new report from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention states that a majority of American’s…
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Given that we’ve been in some sort of recession or another ever since I’ve been old enough to know the…
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Doug Francisco
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NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies…
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