Steve Esparra
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December 21, 2020
WASHINGTON — President Trump added a new addendum to the COVID-19 relief bill passed by Congress yesterday, prohibiting American women…
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Taylor Roebuck
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December 20, 2020
MARQUETTE, Mich. — Local resident Jessica Stabley recently watched 85 episodes of a television series she doesn’t even like, purely…
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Lana Schwartz
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December 20, 2020
PITTSBURGH — Your ex-boyfriend Jake Doherty’s new girlfriend, Sara Michaels, will receive the vaccine for the novel coronavirus before you,…
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Dan Rice
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December 19, 2020
PORTLAND, Maine — Poland Spring executives announced yesterday that they will re-release their flagship, original recipe water for the first…
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Freelancer
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December 19, 2020
MADISON, Wis. — The breakout Netflix show “The Queen’s Gambit” has reportedly inspired millions of young girls around the globe…
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Shea Strauss
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December 19, 2020
WILMINGTON, N.C. — Hallmark Channel’s signature Christmas-themed romance movies reportedly promote an unhealthy expectation of any kind of human interaction,…
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Dan Rice
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December 19, 2020
LOS ANGELES — A 10-minute exercise in mindful meditation for musician and Trader Joe’s crew member Adrienne Tuckman evolved into…
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Amir Adan
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December 18, 2020
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local ghost Cece Quinn is reportedly unreachable unless specifically summoned with a name-brand Ouija board, and promises…
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Luke Thornton
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December 18, 2020
ATLANTA — Local writer and amateur philosopher Alex Garfield is still questioning the meaning of life today after receiving an…
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Nariko Ott
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December 17, 2020
LOS ANGELES — 35-year-old self-described “Dashboard Confessional superfan” David Calva awoke today to find his male-pattern baldness went into overdrive,…
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