Freelancer
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LUBBOCK, Texas — Local defense attorney Andre Laird is reportedly running out of options today, trying to convince his punk…
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Erin McLaughlin
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OCEAN CITY, Md. — Once-financially secure woman Laura Pelligro reportedly spent all of her life savings in a five-minute trip…
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Ben Friedman
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk dad Tim “Trashcan” McCarthy was shocked and disturbed yesterday after discovering a regular issue of…
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Eli Johnson
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WASHINGTON — A plucky group of wealthy gentrifiers up against the odds triumphantly did the impossible yesterday, shuttering the beloved…
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Literally A Koala
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HOBOKEN, N.J. — Therapist Brandon Carr wished yesterday that his patient would stop “bringing the vibe down with all the…
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Jus Kaplan
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Like most Americans, I make all my bedding purchases based on my firmly held political beliefs. My bed frame is…
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Krissy Howard
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FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — A decidedly arrogant YouTube guitar tutorial incorrectly assumed that the person watching it already knew what the…
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Ramona Apthorp
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk Dylan Alan filled a rinsed-out and drying Diva Cup full of vodka last night during…
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Josh Klasco
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LAKEWOOD, Calif. — Aging punk Lilo Omed claimed today that the best way to keep his penis erect is not…
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Rebecca Acevedo
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NEW YORK — Local woman and D.A.R.E. graduate Claudia Dominic is being sued by the legal team representing the Drug…
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