Culture Archives - Page 255

Metal Band Debates Whether Their Commitment Is Full Corpse Paint and Cloaks or Just Longish Hair

Matt McInerney • December 8, 2021

PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether…

Kinky Couple Roleplays As If They’re Still Sexually Interested In Each Other

The Hard Times Staff • December 7, 2021

SPOKANE, Wash. — Local kinksters Justin Lentz and Carly Melhado added a new wrinkle to their sexual routine early yesterday…

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Punk Historian Reveals GG Allin’s Full Name Was Gilmore Girls Allin

Bobby Korec • December 7, 2021

LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually…

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Newly-Woke Friend Still in “Exposing Columbus” Phase

John Merrifield • December 6, 2021

BOSTON — Recent Northeastern University alumni James Gillen is aggressively spreading awareness of the atrocities committed by Christopher Columbus to…

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Mother Assumes Asexual Daughter Is Just A Lesbian Who Hasn’t Met The Right Woman Yet

Stephen Bell • December 6, 2021

PIGEON FORGE, Tenn. — Local mother Julia Smith assumes that her completely asexual daughter Andrea is actually a lesbian who…

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Documentary About Local Scene Mostly 90 Minutes of Incriminating Evidence

Kevin Tit • December 6, 2021

BOSTON — A new documentary about the city’s notoriously tough hardcore scene is mostly 90 minutes of incriminating evidence, multiple…

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Squirrel Hiding Nuts in The Ground Currently Has Better Retirement Plan Than Punk

Stephen Bell • December 5, 2021

EUREKA, Calif. — A squirrel rapidly burying nuts in the ground in preparation for the winter is now better prepared…

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50s Theme Diner Omitting A Few Things

Grace Fetterman • December 5, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Stardust Diner, the latest 1950s style diner to open in Burbank, reportedly glosses over some key facts…

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Everyone in Punk House Assumes Ghost is Someone’s Friend

Collin Canning • December 5, 2021

FALL RIVER, Mass. — A centuries-old apparition roaming the innards of an 1800’s New England heritage property “must be someone…

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Roommate Sick of Being the Only One That Steals Toilet Paper for the House

Dom Turek • December 4, 2021

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common…

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