Hot Topic Grows Out of Punk Phase
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CITY OF INDUSTRY, Calif. — Mall chain store Hot Topic announced that it has grown out of its punk phase…
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Category: Culture
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Judge Tells Rittenhouse He Hopes They Can Do This Again Sometime
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KENOSHA, Wis. — Judge Bruce Schroeder told acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse he hopes they can "hang out again really soon"…
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Legal Expert Says Kyle Rittenhouse Lies Under Oath as Good or Better Than Veteran Cop
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KENOSHA, Wis. — Renowned courtroom analyst Dr. John Andersen confirmed that freshly acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse was as proficient as…
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Party Song Tells You How To Dance To It
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SAN DIEGO — The “So-Cal Shimmy,” a brand new novelty party song, is enjoying a quick rise in popularity at…
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Aspiring Venue Security Guard Practices Crossing Arms in Bedroom for Hours
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HUMPTULIPS, Wash. — Local “rise and grinder” Jake Munchen is reportedly trying to break into the venue security career field…
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Metallica’s Masterclass Just Four Hours of How to Sue Small Businesses and Teenagers
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SAN FRANCISCO — The new Metallica Masterclass program where they teach viewers how to be a band is being called…
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Retail Worker Just Going to Give it Three or Four More Shifts Before He Snaps
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OMAHA, Neb. — A longtime Walmart employee revealed that he is giving himself at least three or four more shifts…
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Punk Missing Time He Could Get All His Friends Sick With No Backlash
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SEATTLE — Local punk Brock Riley admits that he yearns for days when he could spread every illness under the…
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19th Century Time Travelers Disappointed In Modern Cocaine Availability
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MIAMI — A small group of 19th Century time travelers is reportedly very disappointed with the lack of readily available…
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“So, We Did a Thing” Say Zillow Executives Buying 643rd Home in Neighborhood
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IRVINE, Calif. — Giddy Zillow executives announced in a Facebook post Tuesday morning that they were the proud owners of…
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