Tim Graham
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RALEIGH, N.C. — Friends of record enthusiast Tom Montgomery expressed grave concern that they may be asked to help move…
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John Danek
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BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Pretentious bourbon sniffer Patrick Welles is ruining the otherwise fun vibes of an impromptu house party hang…
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Jessica Lillian
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MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk house Last Resort Lodge commemorated the official arrival of spring by bidding farewell to the resident…
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Dave McNamara
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HARTFORD, Conn. – Local father of two, and reformed punk maniac, Victor Amoratti remains completely oblivious to the fact that…
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Patrick Crooks
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LOS ANGELES — Local man and self-described “music aficionado” Alex King once again paid $15 for access to a music…
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Zach Hudson
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TRUMANSBURG, N.Y. — Local vegan James Alta announced plans to increase his number of matches on various dating platforms by…
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Russ Bizaro
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Fetzer attempted to deceive friends by crudely marking his hands with a sharpie to hide…
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Patrick Crooks
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s…
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NEW YORK — Local Band Twice Forgotten is ecstatic in their naivety after negotiating their first record contract despite the…
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NEW YORK — Friends of departed punk Malcom Kelly paid tribute to him on the one-year anniversary of this death…
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