Ciara Murphy
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SEATTLE — Local metalhead Stan Peters is preparing himself mentally and physically to finally listen to his favorite band’s most…
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John Danek
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HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Upholsterer Gianna Andrews stunned friends, family, and biologists with the discovery that her body consists more of…
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Colleen Nerney
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Bottoms from all over Kings County have formally announced their intent to unionize, their representative recently said…
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Brendan Krick
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HARRISBURG, Pa. — 35-year-old community college student and single mother Rebecca Steiner has bummed everybody out by raising her hand…
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Chris Bowen
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ALBANY, N.Y. – A severe drought of talented drummers within the local scene is forcing multiple bands to recruit novice…
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NEW YORK — Popular internet dog Muppet announced early yesterday afternoon that his cutest content will be going behind a…
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LAKEVILLE, Ind. – Townsfolk are bracing for waves of fiery lust caused by local sex symbol Scott Bailey’s distended, green…
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John Danek
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NASHVILLE – Right-wing podcaster Skyler Donelli admitted he is having difficulty choosing a side in the debate over whether a…
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Tim Graham
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CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth…
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Josephine Ramos
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BONN, Germany — CEO of candy company Haribo, Hans-Guido Riegel, announced yesterday that the company will expand its line of…
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