Trevor Graham
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August 15, 2023
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Aging hardcore guy and noted crowd killer Tom Reilly reportedly received a gold X Swatch for his…
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John Danek
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August 13, 2023
LAREDO, Texas — Conservative Tanner Oakenson recently committed his life to destroying all forms of fictional child abuse invented by…
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Matt Bieker
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August 12, 2023
DES MOINES, Iowa — All 65 million members of Generation X around the country celebrated after finally realizing their goal…
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Liam Stephenson
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August 11, 2023
CLEVELAND — Officials at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s Elvis Presley exhibit announced they will be copying the…
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Patrick Sullivan
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August 10, 2023
WASHINGTON—Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) was briefly hospitalized earlier this week after a reported altercation with legendary vampire hunter Van Helsing,…
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Adam Frost-Venrick
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August 10, 2023
PITTSBURGH — Popular language learning app, Duolingo announced they will be adding a new “Eddie Vedder” course to their catalog…
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Joe Rumrill
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August 9, 2023
DANVERS, Mass. — An especially deep stage dive by local Garry Beverling established contact with long-fabled unsettling bioluminescent punks who…
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Tim Graham
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August 9, 2023
PRESCOTT, Ariz. — Local metal enthusiast Griff Nilsson asked his doctor to adjust the persistent ringing in his ears to…
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Jessica Lillian
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August 8, 2023
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local post-punk revival band Shadow Impaction played to a record 128 mostly unwilling patrons at Frankie’s Den…
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Zach Hudson
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August 7, 2023
BOISE, Idaho — Up-and-coming band Settler’s Pit are desperately trying to sell their kidneys to pay for gas just one…
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