Sean Fallon
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WASHINGTON — Large factions of America’s right-wing who idolize Winston Churchill were united in horror at learning that he had…
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BOSEMAN, Mont. — Online activist Clark Dawson advanced the slow march to world peace and unity by commenting “do better”…
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Charles Bill
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MOSCOW – Controversial conservative firebrand and ‘journalist’ Tucker Carlson was recently spotted in Moscow to conduct his annual performance review…
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VERNON, Calif. — Top executives representing oil companies around the country remain concerned that they will not have enough soldiers…
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Matt McInerney
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ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Ronny Stout’s blacked-out knuckle tattoos are forcing neighbors to assume the worst about what it…
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Rhiannon Shaw
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WASHINGTON — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced today that they reintroduced the American jock to the ecosystem in…
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James Knapp
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard…
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Traye Holland
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LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local man Gregory Cross had a distinct mullet that either made him seem like the most…
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Joe Rumrill
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SESAME STREET — The owner of used record store Mono Mono (Doot-Doo DooDooDoo) rejected a large clutch of records from…
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Kyle Duggan
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Carl Weathers, actor, professional football player, and the only subject I could talk to my father about for more than…
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