Patrick Crooks, Author at HARDTIMES

September 5, 2021

CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will…

September 1, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Bored Marvel and Disney executives confirmed that they have greenlit a Captain America vs. Predator crossover mostly…

August 30, 2021

GLEN BURNIE, Md. — Local punk Cris Martinson was recently honored by Forbes Magazine in their annual “30 People over…

August 29, 2021

BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local punk Tyra Flores was spotted placing sheets of old newspaper over the corpse of her housemate…

August 23, 2021

PHILADELPHIA — Local birdwatcher and ornithology enthusiast Sam Greer watched approximately half of the classic 1970s John Waters film “Pink…

August 17, 2021

NEW YORK — Local punk Frankie Hartman lamented moments ago that he managed to stand yet again in the exact…

August 9, 2021

PHILADELPHIA — Newly single man Tim Donahue brought his CPAP machine to a bar yesterday evening in the event he…

August 4, 2021

BALTIMORE — Members of local punk band Slip and Fall realized they’d neglected to tell their bassist they'd voted him…

June 26, 2021

NEW YORK — A mercenary team of ex-special forces, KGB, and other trained combatants attempting to take an entire gala…

June 16, 2021

NICASIO, Calif. — Longtime Star Wars fan Jon Eaton was charged with trespassing on Skywalker Ranch, allegedly hoping to ask…