Prospect of Having to Date Again Only Thing Saving Marriage
CHICAGO — Local couple Nicole Vario and Peter Brooks opted to stay together as the mere idea of dating caused…
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Patrick Crooks — Page 4
162 stories found
We Caught Up With These Winners from MTV’s Next To See What They Spent their 50 Bucks On
The powers that be have decided it’s time for even more Aughts nostalgia, that magical time of Ed Hardy shirts,…
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Man Paying $15 A Month For Streaming Service to Listen to Same Five Songs
LOS ANGELES — Local man and self-described “music aficionado” Alex King once again paid $15 for access to a music…
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Bartender Must Not Be Aware He Cutting Off Bar’s AC/DC Pinball High-Score Holder
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s…
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Punk Tortoise Joins 127 Club
GALAPAGOS ISLANDS — The Galapagos punk scene was in shock this morning after learning of the tragic death of up…
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Punk Under Mistaken Impression He’s a Functioning Alcoholic
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers…
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I’ll Start Supporting the Troops When They Start Coming to My Band’s Shows
All day long I hear people whining about supporting the troops. I can't even go to an event like a…
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Funyuns and Shasta Left Out For Weed Guy
BOULDER, Colo. — Potheads across the country are leaving out Funyuns and Shasta for the weed delivery guy as he…
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Cameo Greeting From Michael Shannon Still Haunting Local Man’s Dreams
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — A Cameo greeting from acclaimed character actor, Michael Shannon, left the recipient of the message Josh Gaither…
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Man Goes to Astounding Lengths to Find Family History of Parkinson’s Rather Than Admitting He Going Through Alcohol Withdrawal
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that…
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