If you remember aimlessly walking around the local mall and eating at Sbarro with your Converse, or god forbid, your Osiris skate shoes, chances are…
CHICAGO — Exasperated cardiologist Dr. Everett Johnston is struggling to explain to his math rock guitarist patient that an arrhythmia, the irregular beating of the…
The words “Ice Age” means something different for everyone. If you’re some sort of paleontologist dweeb, it means sabertooth tigers and uncovering ancient sticks our…
MILWAUKEE — Local sad sack and frequent concert attendee Jorges Henderson recently had his spirits lifted after hearing the singer of the band Stubbourne say…
HOUSTON – A local couple who initially met at a Weezer are reportedly lying to friends and family, by claiming they found each other through…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local man Paul Costas disappeared after trying to tie his shoes in the midst of a forming pit at a beatdown…
DENTON, Texas — Members of the local emo band Bike Seat revealed a Sam’s Club membership is the only reason why their longtime bassist has…
It’s the holiday season and while normies are arguing over whether Halloween or Christmas is better, I know the real answer is Thanksgiving. I couldn’t…
Hey, you. Yeah, the guy with black square-frame glasses and skinny jeans. Sorry, I was just minding my own business, enjoying the show, when I…
REXBURG, Idaho – Touring hardcore band Wishcast recently announced they’re changing their entire tour schedule because a single Idahoan was upset the band wasn’t coming…
MTV had it all figured out during the ‘80s and ‘90s. The music video is the ideal art form, the one that stands atop all…
Texas is the proud home of failing power grids, an ever-expanding system of highways, and idiotic Republican politicians making sure every psycho with a gun…
College. These are the good ol’ days if you were a loser in high school and then continued being a loser after college. There’s so…
2015 had a lot to offer. There was that one new Ought album and life hadn’t totally gone down the shitter yet. But the cream…
It’s not every day that you get to see your little sister’s fifth wedding. The sight of her rounding the corner and walking down the…