What the Fuck? Friend Complaining About Not Having Any Friends
SEATTLE — Local barista and dull plebian Marcella Flores was recently alerted that her longtime friend of 20 years has…
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Neel Bhakta
34 stories found
Punk Goes Through Humiliating Process of DMing Promoter for Show’s Address
LOS ANGELES — Local wannabe scenester Jeremiah Buford is currently going through the soul crushing embarrassment of DMing a promoter…
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Band Photo Features Shirts of Four Better Bands
TORRANCE, Calif. — Up-and-coming hardcore band Loaf High are fending off critics after releasing a new batch of promo pictures…
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Report: Band Too Ugly To Be in Own Music Video
DENVER — A recent report from social psychologists at the University of Denver revealed that members of the local ska…
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Every Tigers Jaw Album Ranked Worst to Best
If you remember aimlessly walking around the local mall and eating at Sbarro with your Converse, or god forbid, your…
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Concerned Cardiologist Still Attempting to Explain to Math Rock Guitarist That Arrhythmia Isn’t a Good Thing
CHICAGO — Exasperated cardiologist Dr. Everett Johnston is struggling to explain to his math rock guitarist patient that an arrhythmia,…
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Every Iceage Album Ranked Worst to Best
The words “Ice Age” means something different for everyone. If you’re some sort of paleontologist dweeb, it means sabertooth tigers…
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Self-Conscious Concertgoer Really Needed to Hear Crowd He’s In Was Amazing Tonight
MILWAUKEE — Local sad sack and frequent concert attendee Jorges Henderson recently had his spirits lifted after hearing the singer…
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Couple that Met at Weezer Concert Telling Everyone They Met on Christian Mingle
HOUSTON – A local couple who initially met at a Weezer are reportedly lying to friends and family, by claiming…
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Friend Who Tried to Tie Shoes in Pit Never Heard From Again
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local man Paul Costas disappeared after trying to tie his shoes in the midst of a…
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