Remember the Noid? In the 1980s, he ruined pizza, insofar as Domino’s can be ruined any more than it already is by simply existing. That…
Ever since the little blue creatures originally known as “Les Schtroumpfs” were introduced in a Belgian comic book for weirdos in 1958, humanity has had…
The Star Trek franchise mostly takes place centuries from now, when humanity has rid itself of its worst instincts, gotten its shit together, and passive-aggressively…
PATERSON, N.J. — Jeff Ackres, a prominent adult virgin, is currently deciding between tempting recruitment offers from both the involuntary celibate community and the fandom…
“The O.C.” is one of the defining teen dramas of the early 2000s, an epic tale of class differences, growing up, corruption, and that time…
Around here, we’re suckers for a feel-good story, but this one really got the waterworks going for us. Dogs may be man’s best friends, but…
For countless, immeasurable eons, we Cenobites have watched humanity and all your little joys and tiny torments. We are demons to some, angels to others.…
CHICAGO — Taylor Swift concertgoer Noah Nussbaum was torn into dozens of bloody chunks of meat by dark, shrieking shadows in front of shocked onlookers…
PATERSON, N.J. — Local punk and high school junior Terry Probost, who often claims to miss the grimy, dangerous, pre-Guiliani New York City, is actually…
SALEM, Ore. — Local father of four and avid collector of vinyl records Douglas Buckner is unsure whether his children would be best organized alphabetically…
EUGENE, Ore. — Arthur “Sweaty” Grant, a punk physical education teacher at Churchill High School, expressed that incoming freshman student Jaime Peron has what it…
Few rock stars have successfully moved through as many artistic phases as St. Vincent, from the pretentiously complex chamber pop of her debut album to…