Hot Topic Grows Out of Punk Phase November 20, 2021 CITY OF INDUSTRY, Calif. — Mall chain store Hot Topic announced that it has grown out of its punk phase… Read More →
If This Combination KFC/Taco Bell Can Make It Work, so Can We November 19, 2021 Baby, it doesn’t have to be this way. I know we’ve had problems. We’ve fought. Hell, we've made each other… Read More →
19th Century Time Travelers Disappointed In Modern Cocaine Availability November 17, 2021 MIAMI — A small group of 19th Century time travelers is reportedly very disappointed with the lack of readily available… Read More →
How Bigfoot Was Minimized in Modern Thanksgiving Celebrations November 16, 2021 Thanksgiving: the most quintessentially American of all holidays. More than Christmas, more than the Fourth of July, even more than… Read More →
Jam Band Wishes Someone Would Tell Them When Song is Supposed to End November 16, 2021 GARY, Ind. — Local jam band Welcome Back Emmett Otter increasingly wishes that someone in the audience of The Jackawolf… Read More →
Chrysler Announces New 2022 Line to Be Big as Whale, Ready to Set Sail November 15, 2021 AUBURN HILLS, Mi. — Major US automotive company Chrysler announced that its new 2022 line of vehicles were as big… Read More →
5 Early Versions of Classic Rock Songs That Were So Bad, Aerosmith Was Forced to Record Them November 15, 2021 Classic rock is so canonized in our hearts, minds and hour-long Rock Blocks on FM radio that it’s easy to… Read More →
Punk Makes Surprisingly Good Case for PT Cruiser as Counter-Culture November 14, 2021 EUGENE, Ore. — Local punk Randy “Dirty Randy” Lopez made a surprisingly well-thought-out and articulated case for the Chrysler PT… Read More →
Bullying Teens Cause Man to Improve Self in Every Way November 11, 2021 LAS CRUCES, N.M — Several local teens mocking adult man Terry Rothstein at the Mesilla Valley Mall have inadvertently caused… Read More →
Woman With No Plans or Responsibilities Feels “Thrown” by Daylight Saving Time November 7, 2021 BELOIT, Wisc. — Local woman Angie Tufts expressed that she feels "all out of wack" because of a recent Daylight… Read More →