NEW YORK – The fraud trial of Donald Trump began with heartfelt letters from Hollywood couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis testifying to the defendant’s…
CLEVELAND, OH – Sources confirmed earlier today that the band’s trip to their next gig in was extended by what must have been three hours,…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to counteract rumors of the President’s declining physical prowess, the Biden campaign is set to release an awe-inspiring…
SARASOTA, Fla. — Davey Lincoln, frontman for regionally popular pop-punk band It’s Not a Tumor, claimed a sudden bout of performance anxiety was due to…
LOS ANGELES — A rather hilarious Petey sketch where he plays at least a half dozen characters was reportedly not filmed and performed at full…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Organizers of a spelling bee primarily focused on metal band names were disappointed to see every participant eliminated in the first…
SAN JOSE — Local man Chris Bendar, 32, very carefully found a verbal path around mentioning TikTok when recommending Petey’s new album “USA” to a…
Petey USA was born a 14-year-old boy in the crowd at a Chicago Blackhawks game at the United Center. Now a world-renowned singer, songwriter, actor,…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Members of local indie band Seashore inexplicably carried their respective instruments nearly two miles into a scenic field for a promo photoshoot,…
The long wait is finally over. Football is back. This is the year your team will go all the way, all they need is a…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — So-called At the Gates superfan Derek Chaulk was rattled after he discovered the Swedish metal band’s discography includes six other albums outside…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor, and floundering Republican presidential candidate, Ron DeSantis assured residents the powerful winds from Hurricane Idalia are God’s way of ridding…
Fox News hosted the first Republican presidential primary last night where eight of the worst people you could ever meet took the stage to prove…
The Black Flag “Bars” logo is one of the most common tattoos you will see on punks and hardcore kids of all ages. But tattooers…
So you’ve decided today is the day you knock off your neighborhood pawn shop in order to repay some debts you accrued while in prison.…