Girlfriend Brings Home Wrong Deadpool from Comic-Con
SAN DIEGO — In what is being viewed as a rather embarrassing mix-up, Amie Faith arrived home with what she…
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Dan Kozuh — Page 26
426 stories found
Whole Foods Promises to Only Sell Produce Picked by Cage-Free Migrant Children
AUSTIN, Texas — The Whole Foods Market grocery chain announced today that it will only sell produce picked by cage-free…
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Worst Kid Has Best Birthday Party
INVERNESS, Ill. — All-around little piece of shit Brenden Mounce, 11, entertained a house full of jealous classmates this weekend…
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5 Powerful Ways to Help End Child Detention Without Getting Too Involved. You’re a Busy Person, We Get It
Yes, America has modern day concentration camps that hold migrant children in cages of their own filth. But we also…
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Phantom of the Venue Terrorizes Concertgoers After Being Rejected By Female Bartender
PORTLAND, Ore. — Patrons of local punk venue The Steel Toe report peculiar, “almost paranormal” happenings in and around the…
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Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get a Turn on the PlayStation
CONCORD, N.H. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced his “Gaming for All” legislative plan, which would provide government-backed equal play…
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Sunburnt Concertgoer Sheds First Skin of Festival Season
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Obsessive festival attendee Argel Anaya molted the entire top layer of his skin today after spending the…
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Dhalsim Misses Fight Against Guile After Being Detained by TSA Again
DALLAS — The renowned World Warrior Tournament competitor from India known as Dhalsim missed an important bout against his American…
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Man Keeps Car Visor CD Sleeve Full in Case of Emergency
CINCINNATI — Local music enthusiast David Grabow keeps a sleeve of CDs in his car on his driver’s side sun-visor…
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40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office
ATLANTA — Dale Clarke, a middle-aged computer tech with early onset arthritis, went into explicit detail with his coworkers about…
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