My Dearest Annabelle, I Fear This Battle of the Bands Shall Rage on for Eternity
December 01, 2021 My Dearest Annabelle, I write to you though the hour is late, but I must confess that…
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Ben Friedman — Page 30
327 stories found
Metallica’s Masterclass Just Four Hours of How to Sue Small Businesses and Teenagers
SAN FRANCISCO — The new Metallica Masterclass program where they teach viewers how to be a band is being called…
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Retail Worker Just Going to Give it Three or Four More Shifts Before He Snaps
OMAHA, Neb. — A longtime Walmart employee revealed that he is giving himself at least three or four more shifts…
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Man Has No Idea What Best Friend Does for a Living
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Chris Jones was left reeling after realizing that he had no clue as to what…
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Goth Files Discrimination Lawsuit After PTO Request for Halloween Denied
NEPTUNE, N.J. — Local supermarket cashier and goth Trish Sommers filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against her employer after her…
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Manspreading Anti-Vaxxer Taking Up Two ICU Beds
BOISE, Idaho — A man suffering from COVID-19 after refusing a vaccination drew ire from other patients by spreading his…
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Five Red Flags That Your Tinder Date Is Just the Bees From “My Girl”
Meeting a new romantic partner is technically easier than ever, but weeding through dating apps is enough to make dying…
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New Yorker Refuses to Acknowledge Chicago Pizza Rat as Legitimate Rodent
NEW YORK — Lifelong city resident Danny Rossi started a campaign early this week denouncing the legitimacy of a city…
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40-Year-Old Pretty Sure He Now Mature Enough to Recreate “Jackass” Stunts at Home
LANCASTER, Pa. — Longtime “Jackass” fan and father of three, Kyle McGarvin, believes he is finally mature enough to recreate…
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Punk’s Only Form of ID Just Last Name Tattooed Across Stomach
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Scene legend known only as “Kowalski” has informed multiple local bars and government entities that the…
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