LAS VEGAS — Lifelong straight edger Logan McGuire spent the majority of his future brother-in-law’s bachelor party convincing the stripper to go vegan, despite being…
Nowadays, saying that you like the Smiths isn’t exactly an Earth-shattering opinion (unless you’re Joseph Gordon Levitt in “500 Days of Summer”), but their influence…
WASHINGTON — Ailing Senator Dianne Feinstein worried Senate colleagues when she made shocking remarks defending Michale Graves’ tenure fronting the Misfits, horrified Washington insiders have…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — An outdoor metal show unexpectedly came to a complete stop after the band’s bass player Todd Michaels became distracted by a…
I have been a loyal Bud Light drinker since the 8th grade and let me tell you, this loyal customer is NOT happy. I’m sick…
ROBBINSDALE, Minn. — Recovering Morrissey apologist David Franklin tragically relapsed and once again defended the artist’s music and politics after watching “500 Days of Summer,”…
LOS ANGELES — Popular job board Monster.com recently posted a position that was clearly about becoming the new frontman for Mötley Crüe, hesitant applicants reported.…
I think I can say without hyperbole that I have the coolest, most chill dad ever. The way he keeps his cool and doesn’t let…
Imagine watching the rich history of your people bastardized by a clueless and indifferent public and then being expected to go along with it because…
MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — Organizers of the newly resurrected Milwaukee Metal Fest announced all attendees must adhere to a strict 12 beer minimum upon entering the…
The Roux Kitchen is the latest endeavor by renowned French celebrity chef Claude Tremblay and is one of the hottest fusion restaurants in the city.…
Whether you’ve read the books or seen the movies, there isn’t a single person alive who doesn’t wish they could visit Willy Wonka’s fantastical chocolate…
If history has shown us anything, it’s that America best exhibits its core values when done by force. The woke liberal industrial complex trying to…
Few people were as synonymous or odorous in the punk world as the Stinky Cheese Man. He and the “Fairly Stupid Crew” were staples of…
NEWTON, Mass. — Local man Jim Conelly announced today that due to aging out of the St. Patrick’s Day bar scene, he would be spending…