March 2023 - Page 7 of 14

How to Spot an Off-Duty Cop at a Metallica Concert by Closing Your Eyes and Just Randomly Pointing

Chris Bowen • March 18, 2023

Metallica is one of those super heavy bands that just hits differently when you're having a rough day and everything…

“This is Not My Beautiful House” and 6 Other Warning Signs of Early Onset Dementia

Tim Graham • March 18, 2023

While occasional moments of confusion are common and could be totally innocuous, it is worth exploring whether they could be…

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Every Devo Album Ranked

Joe Rumrill • March 17, 2023

I genuinely don’t think I’m being hyperbolic when I say: if you disagree that Devo is one of the greatest…

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Aging Millennial Just Going to Have Quiet St. Patrick’s Day Getting Shitfaced at Home

Ben Friedman • March 17, 2023

NEWTON, Mass. — Local man Jim Conelly announced today that due to aging out of the St. Patrick’s Day bar…

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Irish Pub Doesn’t Have Dropkick Murphys, Wonders If Flogging Molly Is Okay

Matt McInerney • March 17, 2023

BOSTON — Local pub O'Keeffe's is reportedly asking patrons if they are ok with consuming Flogging Molly after they lost…

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I Don’t Have a St. Patrick’s Day Problem, I Can Stop Celebrating Whenever I Want

Bobby Korec • March 17, 2023

It seems my friends and family have gathered here to take part in some sort of intervention due to my…

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Opinion: I Choose To Celebrate My Irish Heritage on St. Patrick’s Day by Being Incredibly Depressed

Chris Bowen • March 17, 2023

St. Patrick's day is the day "everyone is Irish," and that means it's just an excuse to get shit-house wasted…

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Out of Shape Punk Switches to Weighted Cigarettes

Kyle Duggan • March 16, 2023

PROVIDENCE— 38-year-old punk Richard Locke is trying to improve his physical fitness by switching to a brand of cigarettes heavy…

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Horror Movie About Isolated Cabin Ruined by Verizon’s Unrivaled Cell Coverage

Ted Pillow • March 16, 2023

LOS ANGELES — Netflix horror “Under the Floorboards” features a fully accurate depiction of Verizon’s industry-leading cell service, totally undercutting…

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Nicole Kidman Video About Importance of Scene Unity to Run Before Hardcore Shows

Tim Graham • March 16, 2023

PENSACOLA, Fla. — A group of show promoters commissioned Nicole Kidman to appear in a video similar to her infamous…

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