Saad Khan											
										
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										GRAPEVINE, Texas — After careful consideration of its market value, a local GameStop location offered recently hired employee Rob Lindsey…									
									
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												Patrick Coyne											
										
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										OLIVETTE, Mo. — Siblings Freddy and Kevin Rosario have separately come to the unfortunate conclusion that quoting a “Plimpton Auto”…									
									
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												John Dixon											
										
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										LONDON — Venerable heavy metal legends Iron Maiden announced they will hit the road again late next year and will…									
									
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												Dom Turek											
										
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										NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…									
									
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												Patrick Coyne											
										
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										It seems like just yesterday those Trump-loving, dumbass crybaby MAGA bitches were clogging up my Facebook feed with racist propaganda,…									
									
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												Dan Kozuh											
										
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										PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this…									
									
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												Andy Holt											
										
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										LOS ANGELES — Your scheduled delivery time was delayed this afternoon when FedEx driver Shannon Hunter took your Xbox Series…									
									
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												Kevin Flynn											
										
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										COLUMBUS, Ohio — Physically recoiling at the offensive post currently visible on his screen, longtime Reddit user Derek Lefferts flagged…									
									
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												Dan Rice											
										
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										Well apparently it’s “where we go one, we go alone” for me. Somehow, while my back was turned, my wife…									
									
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												Patrick Coyne											
										
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										CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor…									
									
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