Saad Khan
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GRAPEVINE, Texas — After careful consideration of its market value, a local GameStop location offered recently hired employee Rob Lindsey…
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Patrick Coyne
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OLIVETTE, Mo. — Siblings Freddy and Kevin Rosario have separately come to the unfortunate conclusion that quoting a “Plimpton Auto”…
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John Dixon
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LONDON — Venerable heavy metal legends Iron Maiden announced they will hit the road again late next year and will…
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Dom Turek
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NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…
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Patrick Coyne
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It seems like just yesterday those Trump-loving, dumbass crybaby MAGA bitches were clogging up my Facebook feed with racist propaganda,…
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Dan Kozuh
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this…
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Andy Holt
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LOS ANGELES — Your scheduled delivery time was delayed this afternoon when FedEx driver Shannon Hunter took your Xbox Series…
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Kevin Flynn
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — Physically recoiling at the offensive post currently visible on his screen, longtime Reddit user Derek Lefferts flagged…
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Dan Rice
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Well apparently it’s “where we go one, we go alone” for me. Somehow, while my back was turned, my wife…
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Patrick Coyne
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CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor…
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