Mark Hassenfratz
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TULSA, Okla. — Local punk Eddie Abrams’s plans to retire are reportedly contingent upon his dying young and nothing else,…
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Patrick Coyne
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PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eric Sullivan still eats with his arm around his plate like a hardened, PTSD-suffering prisoner after…
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Tom Peters
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Nice little shop you got here. I like the basic, minimalist approach- you probably keep all the good stuff for…
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Chuck Kowalski
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LOS ANGELES — Twisted Metal veteran and part-time Lyft driver Axel doesn’t understand why riders continue to give him one-star…
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Krissy Howard
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SCRANTON, Penn. — The Menzingers offered yesterday a handful of stamped timecards taken from a local factory to a life-sized…
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CRANSTON, R.I. — Punk father and son team Jerry and Steve Pappas began work today restoring a mint condition 2017…
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Tyler Simpson
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Every gamer’s favorite restaurant, Chili’s, released a new cutting edge touchscreen tablet menu this week that has sent ripples throughout…
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Patrick Coyne
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Millennial punk and generally clumsy dolt Tony Drummond bellowed several ironic “Tim Allen” grunts yesterday before accidentally…
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Dan Luberto
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Halloween may be over, but we've got something scary to show you. If you were brave enough to read the…
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DALLAS — Local punk Denny “Wart” Morrill surprised fellow Dallas Marathon runners yesterday by shitting himself at the very beginning…
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