PORTLAND — Anxious roommate Megan Styers allegedly adorned every door in her house with a post-it note bearing only the word “sorry,” “just in case…
BOSTON — Local record store owner Hank Lapkus is an anxious mess lately, spending every day hoping his customers don’t find out about the popular…
ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Local 14-year-old Colton Blewitt resisted the urge to tell his father he loved him today, fearing the declaration might be perceived as…
OXFORD, England — An android created by the Oxford Department of Engineering has reportedly worried incessantly since the mid-’90s that it accidentally hurt Radiohead singer…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a freelance reporter into infiltrating a…
HOUSTON — Local man Carlos Berry is suspected of going from ironic enjoyment of the “Flat Earth or Death” Facebook group to a very genuine…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Ramon Dixon has officially decided he’ll “give it a few days” before telling his roommates about the weird bites found…
NEW YORK — Local woman Angela Lefler experienced an unending cycle of self-loathing and regret last night after her post-date text message did not receive…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — 25-year-old Kyle Booth suspects that his new punk friends only like him for his basement, now that he’s befriended a local hardcore…