CALEXICO, Calif. — Local punk venue The Microwave announced new restrictions for patrons and will require anyone wanting to attend a show to present proof…
PHILADELPHIA — Local screamo legends, Angel, played an uncharacteristically mellow and peaceful set in their first show since attending EMDR therapy, shocked members of the…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local all-ages punk venue, The Back House, recently began to inform their patrons about an upcoming age cut-off of 32 for all…
SARASOTA, Fla. – 6th grader and budding musician Wyatt Backstrom announced that he was stepping away from the Squier Strat he received for Christmas for…
YORBA LINDA, Calif. — Sony Music Group announced the acquisition of all recorded works and songwriting property of metalcore outfit Atreyu in a staggering deal…
LAS VEGAS — Radio rock stalwarts The Killers apologized to fans yesterday morning after realizing that they missed an obvious, optimal rhyme in their legendary…
SAN DIEGO — Music identification software Shazam faced an ethical dilemma today, ultimately failing to disclose the song playing at Marshalls late yesterday afternoon due…
PONTIAC, Mich. — Local punk Vince Vanderberg was shocked when the results of a DNA ancestry kit revealed he had goth roots via the mother’s…
LOS ANGELES — Local fitness enthusiast Gene Davidson is reportedly entering the third hour of an absurdly low-speed chase trying to recover a runaway AirPod…
Excitement of Band Coming to Town Snuffed Out by Thought of Leaving House to See Band Coming to Town
Excitement of Band Coming to Town Snuffed Out by Thought of Leaving House to See Band Coming to Town
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The excited feeling local punk Cassie Ringo felt when learning of a band coming to town was immediately overpowered by the…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local single woman Maya Cook is taking technology into her own hands after having become frustrated with the amount of time she…
LIMA, Ohio — A debate over payment and use of a venue on the outskirts of Lima has reportedly been taken over by authorities from…
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after refusing to let him put…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Your horny aunt Gladys created an air of tension after expressing a deep and carnal interest in your Type O Negative shirt…
MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed “experimental indie” band True Friction are horrified to see that their “Related Artists” tab on Spotify is populated by pop-punk and…