Vampire Weekend seems to be a “love ‘em or hate ‘em” type of band. Which kind of makes no sense. They’re talented, fun and catchy.…
TRANSYLVANIA — Acclaimed spook-punk band Alkaline Trio announced a purely symbolic tour date in remote settlement “The Village of Unspeakable Horrors” during their ongoing “Blood,…
WASHINGTON—Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) was briefly hospitalized earlier this week after a reported altercation with legendary vampire hunter Van Helsing, multiple Beltway insiders confirmed. “Oh,…
Vampire. Nosferatu. The un-dead. Legends of unholy, immortal creatures with a thirst for human blood have existed for centuries. Could such a long-enduring myth have…
Girl, you know I want to see you happy. You deserve it. You deserve gold-plated diamonds, dogs made out of money, and that promotion you’ve…
WASHINGTON — Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell reportedly spent the week in a luxurious DC hotel while the coffin he sleeps in was re-lined, creeped-out…
LOS ANGELES — Notoriously youthful megastar Paul Rudd recently stated his youthful appearance is the result of self-care, genetics, and not spending all day every…
Any celebrity can tweet against bullying in our school, but it takes a real class act to actually stand up and do something about it.…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Real-deal, bloodsucking vampire Count Adhemar Chauve-Souris was vehemently dismissed as a poser today by mall goths he was recruiting for his gaggle…