NEW YORK —Local punk Jeremy Spencer has spent the last 20 years putting Hitler mustaches on pictures of US presidents. But today, for the first…
NEW YORK — President Trump promised this morning to bring five of the “best and loudest” dog whistle factories back to American soil, during a confrontational…
ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks, makers of the alternate reality Nazi-fighting game series Wolfenstein, has apologized for a recent augmented reality game tie-in. “Holy shit,…
WASHINGTON — California Rep. Adam Schiff announced earlier today via livestream from the Democratic Party Twitter account that his party now has nearly enough tweets…
LOS ANGELES — Controversial KISS frontman Gene Simmons announced earlier today that, effective immediately, transgender people will be banned from serving in the KISS Army.…
WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only ten days on the job,…
ANYTOWN, U.S. — Johnny Johnson, local paperboy, has been hospitalized after being severely beaten by local resident Grady Hollis for delivering “fake news” to Hollis’…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump grimly said to GOP lawmakers “Remember, no Russian,” moments before the elevator doors opened to the Senate floor for the…
WASHINGTON — U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Durkin “came out of nowhere” and denied President Trump’s easy lay-up during a shoot-around on the White House…
PYONGYANG, North Korea – North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un vowed to decimate the city of Los Angeles with his distinctive style of bass guitar, in…
NEW YORK — Longtime political activist Lorenzo Marquez attempted to kick off a new protest chant at a march last weekend, but struggled to find…
Not your king, huh? Grow up. Quick question: are you a citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom? And is there a giant black flag with Bowser’s…
QUANTICO, Virginia — Chicago is officially the most dangerous band in America, due to numerous instances of “friendly fire” roadie deaths, drive-by tour bus shootings,…
MAR-A-LAGO – In direct response to fired FBI Director James B. Comey addressing the Senate Intelligence Committee, President Trump said Tuesday that he would be…
WASHINGTON — President Trump signed a new executive order earlier today, banning Foreigner from the United States, White House sources confirmed. Dismissing such hits as…