Andrew Murphy
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SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous…
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Nathan Kamal
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HOUSTON — Famed environmental superhero and holographic android Captain Planet announced he would be accepting a position as a paid…
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Parker Newman
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The term “toxic masculinity” gets tossed around pretty casually these days but, for good reason. We are living in a…
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Patrick Crooks
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LOS ANGELES — A recording of The Dooley’s frontman Jason Delahunt screaming at his bandmates is slated to appear on…
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Dianne Nora
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TAMPA, Fla. — A nude photograph sent by a young woman to a new sexual partner early Saturday morning was…
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Rick Homuth
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NAMPA, Idaho — A punk house dispute over fixing a carbon monoxide detector was abruptly resolved after every single resident…
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Stephen Bell
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ATHENS, Ohio — Self-described lover of crystals, energy healing, and astrology Emma Cobb is reportedly only into hobbies that allow…
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John Danek
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MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — Local punk band Butcher Paper ostensibly only formed to garner attention by way of constant death threats…
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Lana Schwartz
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WASHINGTON — A new commission on Socializing, Relationships & Dating released a 105-page report determining that a breakup still counts…
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ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Aging former Warped Tour musician Brent Storm sold his van and is now working for a local…
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