PENSACOLA, Fla. – Local dentist Noah Dunaway expressed utter disgust recently after examining what long-time punk patient Skyler Thompson kept referring to as his “good”…
CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth by using her tongue to…
The history of socialism is a history of struggle. Since Bernie Sanders invented the idea around 2015, socialists everywhere have been fighting the good fight…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — A small portion of a box of Crest White Strips is being tasked with undoing the damage that comes with eight years…
MOSCOW — A secret agent embedded deep within the Russian military reportedly can’t stop monkeying around with the cyanide pill he keeps in his mouth…
FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket of a pair of jeans…
MESA, Ariz. — Local man Jeffrey Woodward is running out of good sides of his mouth to chew with, thanks to his lack of dental…
FRESNO, Calif. — Devoted ska guy and The Deux Tones frontman Simon Carpenter “upped his cred” last week by whitening every other tooth in his…
Taylor Swift’s new song “Look What You Made Me Do” was recently knocked from the number one chart position by rapper Cardi B’s “Bodak Yellow,”…