Doug Kolic
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PENSACOLA, Fla. – Local dentist Noah Dunaway expressed utter disgust recently after examining what long-time punk patient Skyler Thompson kept…
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Tim Graham
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CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth…
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James Webster
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The history of socialism is a history of struggle. Since Bernie Sanders invented the idea around 2015, socialists everywhere have…
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Krissy Howard
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MANCHESTER, N.H. — A small portion of a box of Crest White Strips is being tasked with undoing the damage…
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Dave Cross
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MOSCOW — A secret agent embedded deep within the Russian military reportedly can’t stop monkeying around with the cyanide pill…
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Heather Cook
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FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket…
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Patrick Coyne
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MESA, Ariz. — Local man Jeffrey Woodward is running out of good sides of his mouth to chew with, thanks…
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Lauren Lavín
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FRESNO, Calif. — Devoted ska guy and The Deux Tones frontman Simon Carpenter “upped his cred” last week by whitening…
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Tom Peters
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Taylor Swift’s new song “Look What You Made Me Do” was recently knocked from the number one chart position by…
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