Teeth Tag Archives

Ben Friedman • March 24, 2026

CHICAGO — A local man’s decision to replace their rotting teeth with shiny white veneers backfired as they turned out…

Doug Kolic • July 15, 2022

PENSACOLA, Fla. – Local dentist Noah Dunaway expressed utter disgust recently after examining what long-time punk patient Skyler Thompson kept…

Tim Graham • June 5, 2022

CHANDLER, Ariz. — Gina Feldspar, bassist for punk band Piss Ritual, performed a periodic inventory of “good” and “bad” teeth…

James Webster • August 31, 2021

The history of socialism is a history of struggle. Since Bernie Sanders invented the idea around 2015, socialists everywhere have…

Krissy Howard • July 19, 2021

MANCHESTER, N.H. — A small portion of a box of Crest White Strips is being tasked with undoing the damage…

Dave Cross • February 12, 2020

MOSCOW — A secret agent embedded deep within the Russian military reportedly can’t stop monkeying around with the cyanide pill…

Heather Cook • December 26, 2019

FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket…

Patrick Coyne • June 28, 2019

MESA, Ariz. — Local man Jeffrey Woodward is running out of good sides of his mouth to chew with, thanks…

Lauren Lavín • January 15, 2019

FRESNO, Calif. — Devoted ska guy and The Deux Tones frontman Simon Carpenter “upped his cred” last week by whitening…

Tom Peters • October 8, 2017

Taylor Swift’s new song “Look What You Made Me Do” was recently knocked from the number one chart position by…