Jus Kaplan
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With the price of eggs continuing to soar, many consumers are naturally looking for cost-saving alternatives. Well, we wish we…
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Peter Woods
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ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease…
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Sarah Cassell
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SEATTLE — Local punk Brock Riley admits that he yearns for days when he could spread every illness under the…
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Kevin Tit
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CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE, Fla. — Cultural Icon and noted serial killer Jason Voorhees was reportedly bullied out of infamous Florida…
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James Knapp
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First of all, its name is Jeremy. And second, I don’t care if it can literally melt my skin while…
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Eli Johnson
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WASHINGTON — The American Psychiatric Association at its annual conference announced it added “poser” to the latest update of the…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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The Hard Times Staff
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UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while…
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THORNVILLE, Ohio — Local Juggalo Andreas “Wicked Kush” Fleming is ignoring all CDC recommendations while attending this year's Gathering of…
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Dan Kozuh
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SAN FRANCISCO — New COVID-19 mutation the Gamma Variant garnered attention with a cryptic tweet telling followers it had “big”…
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