Heather Cook
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June 6, 2021
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local woman and dedicated shower pisser Esme Hill reportedly held her urine in longer than usual…
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Kevin Tit
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March 21, 2021
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs…
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Heather Cook
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January 3, 2021
WOODSTOWN, N.J. — Local punk Alice Moretti thought of “the sickest” melody while shaving her armpits in the shower moments…
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Dan Luberto
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November 13, 2020
CINCINNATI — Old Spice announced today a new, all-in-one combination shampoo/conditioner/body wash/toothpaste, in their latest attempt to further their lead…
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Patrick Coyne
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October 22, 2020
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “Dove Soap-loving jagoff” Dan Paulson thinks he’s “king shit of hygiene town”…
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Nick Ortolani
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August 27, 2020
HACKENSACK, N.J. — A new report from the Brookings Institute has found that nationwide gym closures due to the coronavirus…
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Patrick Crooks
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August 12, 2020
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Crust punk Brad DelFino’s bathing attempt brought tragedy to his community yesterday, as sources report the 10-minute…
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Ben Friedman
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July 24, 2020
The shower is one of the last refuges in modern society. Only within that 2x4 foot space can you shut…
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Erin McLaughlin
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August 5, 2019
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — Local man Aaron Mendle simply wet his hair in the sink yesterday and wrapped a towel…
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Graham Isador
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April 9, 2019
TORONTO — Local man Thoman McKechnie discovered late last night that punk band PUP’s new album Morbid Stuff syncs up…
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