Shea Strauss
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DALLAS — Singer-songwriter and registered sex offender Wilfred Barton announcded his first tour dates at a press conference held yesterday…
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Pat Cavanaugh
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CHICAGO — Competitive Super Smash Bros. player Greg Bradley holds true to his principles beyond the game, refusing to use…
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John Danek
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SEATTLE — Politically correct punk Michael Favata was delighted to learn yesterday that his band’s bassist is currently dating a…
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Tim Sheard
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LOS ANGELES – Molly Connolly, the subject of mid-00s emo band Say Anything’s fan favorite song “Every Man Has a…
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Mark Maira
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Newly related step-siblings Kara Sullivan and Aiden Zendowski have very little to no sexual chemistry, confused and…
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Dan Rice
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If you’re friends with a carnivore there’s a good chance that you’ve been accused of being preachy. You probably can’t…
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CJ Hernandez
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Stephen Lazaro broke up with his new goth girlfriend earlier this week after discovering that…
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Edgar Towner
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new study suggests that the average punk unknowingly has sex with five people who go…
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Dan Kozuh
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I’m a simple man that likes the simple things in life. I like rare steak, cold beer, and fishing on…
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Krissy Howard
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TWIN FALLS, Idaho — Local man Jeff Debow mistook today what was sent as a pee emoji for “making this…
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