MAUI, Hawaii — A humpback whale off the coast of Maui found the musical offerings overheard from noise-rock-themed ‘Sonic Cruise’ to be lacking in originality,…
Terrible things every day but when the residents of West Chester, Ohio heard that local first-grader Erik Richey was diagnosed with terminal cancer, they decided…
MEADVILLE, Penn. — A week before his child abuse trial, local priest Justin Canthorne continues to cast himself as a “misunderstood iconoclast,” according to the…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk and self-declared “dish-truther” Sammy Gladwin has been reported by multiple sources as using both sides of plates to save on…
LOS ANGELES — Literary agent and frequent binge drinker Lana Delano has no idea that despite her protests, California’s statewide 2 a.m. last call is…
ORLANDO — The local scene took notice when highly lauded community hero, Terrence Mann, was left out of those named as 2021 Nobel Peace Prize…
HOUSTON — Local punk Colin “Colonic” Birch continues to refer to his parents’ guest house, a two-bedroom A-frame with pool access where he has lived…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Local musician Charlie Clarke is reportedly threatening to join the growing boycott of Spotify and stop using the account that linked to…
DALLAS — Gary McGee, a 50-year-old insurance salesman from Fort Worth who recently married mother of three, Linda Villalobos, is by far the children’s hairiest…
SAN FRANCISCO — Customers at local coffee shop, Verdant Cafe, collectively felt shivers go through their spines when a barista announced a “cow’s milk” latte…
HILLSBOROUGH, N.J. — Local party-goer and person seemingly in need of some “quiet time,” Katherine Gallagher, is being asked by those around her to “take…
ENUMCLAW, Wash. — Local lovey-dovey punk Geoff Bayweather took his partner by complete surprise after serving her a traditional breakfast in mattress on the floor,…
COLUMBUS – Self-proclaimed anti-capitalist, James McCarthy, expressed his true feelings for his long-term partner by forgetting it’s Valentine’s Day for the fourth year in a…
LAKEWOOD, Ohio — One-time Lakewood High School football legend Jaime Garner made the long and treacherous journey back to his hometown mere days after graduating…
EVANSTON, Ill. — Economists at North Western University published a new study this week showing a single parent of two must distribute their collective bargaining…