BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Southern woman and recreational drug user Darlene Abbot reportedly refers to every amphetamine or stimulant simply as “coke,” citing cultural norms and…
BOSTON — Prospective police officer and unapologetic bigot, Danny Connor, promised friends and family that if he becomes a cop he will use his position…
KEENE, N.H. — Local dad Richard Miller is reportedly about to start another boring story in which he’ll be sure to note the race of…
CAMP HILL, Penn. — Suburban couple George and Esme Albertson discretely removed their sweatshop-grade cardboard yard sign, which professed unwavering support for people of all…
BOSTON — Local crowds rejoiced as legendary hometown rockers Aerosmith showed their Boston pride by performing a set filled with the city’s classic intoxicated racist…
LOS ANGELES — Stardust Diner, the latest 1950s style diner to open in Burbank, reportedly glosses over some key facts and historical realities, sources who…
WASHINGTON — Fox News host Tucker Carlson used the 1981 Dead Kennedys song “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” as one of the first examples of cancel…
Mr. James Bartnik isn’t your average enforcer of the law in Toledo, Ohio. He does his job without a gun or taser or any means…
DALLAS — Legendary ass-kicking institution The School Of Hard Knocks celebrated yet another graduating class of macho, non-PC, bootstrap puller-uppers this past weekend, multiple sources…
WASHINGTON — United States Capitol building ghost, Josiah H. Hubbard, confirmed that he feels a cold chill through his very being every time Kentucky Senator…
SAN FRANCISCO — A specialty dating app created for connecting East Asian people seeking the same is reportedly being used exclusively by white dudes, according…
CENTRALIA, Wash. — Local patriot Rick Staler is concerned that the size of the flags mounted in the bed of his Dodge Ram 1500 may…
EUGENE, Ore. — Ska/swing revival band Cherry Poppin’ Daddies shared a long-awaited apology accepting blame for their whole deal, including, but not limited to, their…
ATHENS, Ohio — Self-described lover of crystals, energy healing, and astrology Emma Cobb is reportedly only into hobbies that allow her to casually stereotype people,…
BEND, Ore. — Alleged “biracial poser” and local punk Liz Watson disappointed white stranger Dana Fields yesterday by inadequately naming three origin stories deemed exotic…