Steve Packosky
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BALTIMORE — British death metal titans Carcass are reportedly accepting cash, card, and medical specimens in exchange for merch at…
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Trevor Graham
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TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Collin Pike very briefly filled the gaping hole of emptiness in his life by impulsively…
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Peter Woods
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OMAHA, Neb. — Local guitarist Sebastian Melendez purchases the most inexpensive PA at his regular music equipment store following a…
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Dan Kozuh
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WASHINGTON — America's first-born males made a stunning about-face to decades of tradition yesterday by announcing they will no longer…
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John Danek
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KING OF PRUSSIA, Pa. — Lonesome guitarist Nelson Owens’s only friendly social relationship is reportedly with popular gear website and…
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Giovanni Colantonio
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KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…
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Tom Peters
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WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Disgruntled, maskless consumer Rod Shockley was seen outside a local supermarket yesterday asking customers complying with the…
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local Guitar Center sales associate Dan Shin deemed a customer’s routine purchase “pretty sick” earlier this week,…
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Aspiring musician Evan Wohrman spent the majority of an hour yesterday weighing the pros and cons of…
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DENVER — DIY zinester and sticker fanatic Peter Binder shelled out $1,200 on another laptop this week after running out…
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