Contributor
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NEW YORK -- Local musical improv troupe Songtaneous Combustion bombarded a bewildered crowd at Lantern Pizza on Tuesday night with…
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Louie Aronowitz
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BOSTON — MIT janitor Will Chase is allegedly brilliant at mathcore, according to university staff members who caught him secretly…
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CHICAGO — Aging punks Paul Schiffer and Jessica Hernandez believe their sex life has become stale, following their most recent “routine…
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John Danek
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LONG BEACH, Calif. — Rapper Vince Staples was forced to change his moniker to Vince OfficeMax after the completed merger…
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Mark Roebuck
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — “Woke dude” Pete McNamara lulled a once-thriving party into collective slumber after vocalizing his socially progressive opinions,…
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NEW YORK — After a long battle with apathy, local musician Peter Costello was forced to put his pet project…
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Cory Cousins
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BALTIMORE — Promoters of the Dollops of Doom festival canceled the three-day music event at the last minute after weather…
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Mark Roebuck
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ORLANDO, Fla. — Part-time Arby’s fry cook Marty Pitts recently asked coworker Clint Kettering if fronting local metal band Intoxicunt…
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Mike Civins
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GUILFORD, Conn. — Folk-punk legend Ol’ Tom Tassy, rumored to stand 180 feet tall and use a modified train car…
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Danny Taverner
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As the saying goes, opinions are like Black Flag tattoos: we’ve all got them and a few of them we…
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