Punk Tag Archives - Page 595

‘Death’ Longest Section of Punk Legend’s Wikipedia Article

Doug Francisco • September 12, 2018

SAN FRANCISCO — The “death” section of the Wikipedia page for punk legend Benny Core is far longer than any…

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Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

The Hard Times Staff • September 12, 2018

Aries (March 21 - April 19) There’s no faster way to an Aries’ heart than a well-timed compliment. You know…

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Child of Rockabilly Couple Constantly Wondering What the Fuck Is Going On

Keith Buckley • September 11, 2018

CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a…

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Wife of Man Who Started Midlife Crisis Band Wishes He’d Just Had an Affair

Dan Kozuh • September 10, 2018

ALLEN, Texas. — Annette Martin is allegedly tired of her husband’s foray into live music as a band-aid for his…

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Axl Rose Sprints Across Stadium After Show to Work Merch Booth

Dan Kozuh • September 10, 2018

MOSCOW — Guns ‘N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose was seen sprinting the length of Otkritie Arena last night to help…

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$167 Concert Ticket Comes With Free Commentary From Guy Behind You

Andy Holt • September 9, 2018

ALLENTOWN, Pa. — A special, VIP ticket package to attend Ozzy Osbourne: No More Tours 2 includes running commentary from…

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Report: This Machine Avoids Eye Contact with Fascists

Lauren Lavín • September 8, 2018

DAVIS, Calif. — Guitarist of Native Weeds, lifelong fan of Woody Guthrie, and avowed anti-fascist Benjamin Spelling showed his displeasure…

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Blogger Smirks at Laptop

Sam Rose • September 7, 2018

OAKLAND, Calif. — Recent trust-fund recipient and part-time blogger Nick Headon reportedly smirked yesterday while vigorously typing on his brand…

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Marilyn Manson Gets Spine Removed to Eat His Own Ass

Zac Townsend • September 7, 2018

LOS ANGELES — Singer/songwriter and self-proclaimed “antichrist” Marilyn Manson is in stable condition today recovering from spinal removal surgery that…

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Neck Tattoo Actually Best Part of Punk’s Job Interview

Jack Lewis • September 6, 2018

BALTIMORE — Local punk Rick Blairowitz blamed his prominent neck tattoo for his inability to be hired, despite it being…

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