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Mom Thinks You Guys Should Learn a Few James Taylor Songs

CLEVELAND — Your mom casually suggested last night, while you took a brief break during your band practice, that “you guys add a few James Taylor songs to your band’s repertoire,” sources confirmed.

“Don’t get me wrong — I like all of your songs, but I think you guys would love some of James Taylor’s stuff,” she said, as everyone in your band politely smiled. “Maybe if you just learned a few classics, like ‘Fire and Rain,’ and ‘How Sweet It Is,’ Nancy from next door would come over to listen with her new husband, Dave. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

Your mom added that, while Taylor’s folksy soft-rock melodies are a bit different than “that screechy stuff” you guys usually play, he also has “plenty of groovy tunes that are sure to rock your socks off.”

“Oh, you bet your father and I got pretty darn wild at JT’s 1975 show in Milwaukee,” she said, wistfully gazing off into the middle distance. “You guys have probably never seen two people get as crazy as we did when he played ‘Don’t Let Me Be Lonely Tonight.’”

“You should definitely learn more songs like ‘Rainy Day Man,’” your dad added from the TV room. “Then, maybe, you could play some of them at your cousin Margaret’s graduation party next month.”

Unfortunately, local music historian and Zumba instructor Tanya Suarez echoed your mom’s assessment that adding two or three James Taylor songs into your set list is key to attracting the crucial 55 to 64-year-old demographic.

“You’ll have all the ladies in the neighborhood lining up down the street if you learn the riff from ‘Your Smiling Face,’” said Suarez, gently swaying her hips and humming the chorus to the 1977 adult contemporary hit single. “And if you really want to mix things up, Kenny G has some great tunes, too.”

At press time, your mom was drinking chardonnay and singing softly with your aunt Marion in the driveway, while your bandmate Steve “Ratbag” Thompson played the bassline to “Handy Man.”