Louie Aronowitz
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PHOENIX — Local woman Sam Werst determined yesterday that the Japanese film with English subtitles “The Son” is simply too…
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Peter Woods
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MILWAUKEE — 32-year-old punk Omar Neihoff made a New Year’s resolution last night to attend at least one show before…
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Andy Holt
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CHICAGO — Local small-batch chocolate maker Wayne Barnes, concerned that Detroit will complete an economic recovery before he can relocate…
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Mark Roebuck
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EL PASO, Texas — Baby New Year, the mythical personification of hope and change, was detained at the Mexican/American border…
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Tom Scheve
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OMAHA, Neb. — Newly hired sound guy David Murphy was “not about to take fucking notes from some bullshit guitarist”…
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Josh Jurk
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NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — A trash can located on the corner of Church and Spring St. gained sentience late last…
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Mark Roebuck
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DAYTON, Ohio — The drummer of local punk band Vulture Attack took a “confusingly inappropriate” amount of time last night…
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Travis Flack
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SAN ANTONIO — Local concertgoer Tim Flinanski is two tandem stage dives away from certification for solo dives in accordance…
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Bobby D. Lux
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WASHINGTON — Scientists researching the life expectancy of punks now claim that the first punk to live a full 65…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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BETHLEHEM — A local show billed as “The Most Important Event in Human History” reportedly ended as a “total fucking…
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