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32-Year-Old Punk Makes New Year’s Resolution to Go to a Show This Year

MILWAUKEE — 32-year-old punk Omar Neihoff made a New Year’s resolution last night to attend at least one show before the end of this calendar year, skeptical sources confirmed.

“Yeah… I haven’t made it to many shows. I’m just so tired when I get out of work, and then I turn on the television… and, basically, my night is over,” said Neihoff, taking a brief break from the seven hours of podcasts he listens to daily. “But I support the scene in other ways: I can barely even count how many Bandcamp links I’ve shared on Facebook with my friends from literally around the world.”

“Plus, I almost always say something on the post, like, ‘This rips,’” added Neihoff.

As word spread of Neihoff’s resolution, local promoters and musicians voiced their support for the tentative showgoer.

“Oh, I’d love to see him come out sometime,” said Beth Edwards, a friend of Neihoff’s and a steady DIY promoter. “I’ve got three shows booked this week, and there’s only 12 people saying they’re going on Facebook — that’s to all of them, combined. It would really help for [Neihoff] to go. The venue is less than a two-minute walk from his front door.”

However, some members of the scene were unimpressed with Neihoff’s goal.

“Only one show? Come on, dude — I’ve been to nine shows this week alone. It’s not fucking hard,” said 20-year-old Larry McMahan. “You just finish your math homework or whatever during the day, pack into your homie’s Honda Civic, and bounce around all night. I’ve done that for the past three years and I don’t see any signs of slowing down. If anything, when I’m his age, I’ll be going to more shows — I won’t have evening classes then.”

Thus far, the mostly positive reinforcement has had a promising effect on Neihoff, who already purchased a $37 ticket to the annual “Rev’d Up Vintage Motorcycle Show” happening at the Milwaukee Sports Complex.

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