GEORGETOWN, Del. — Local man Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking…
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Ted Pillow
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PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever…
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Zac Lux
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Toni “Skwerm” Malloy was disappointed to find out yesterday that she only budgeted enough for…
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WASHINGTON — DC-based tour guide Christopher Hollis is currently attempting to quell an insurrection at the Capitol Building in order…
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Jerrod Kingery
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WASHINGTON — The Food and Drug Administration today formally ordered the Hot Pockets brand of microwavable frozen sandwiches to remove…
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Noah Leavy
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ATHENS, Ga. — Bashful metal enthusiast Ross Bromberg attempted to muster up the strength yesterday to speak with a woman…
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Meg Indurti
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We’ve all been there. You’re jamming along to a new track. The beat? Incredible. The lyrics? Insightful. The message? Well,…
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Bobby Korec
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LOS ANGELES — ‘90s hip hop phenomenon Antoine Roundtree, known professionally as Skee-Lo, knew with confidence exactly which three wishes…
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Thomas Frances
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AUSTIN, Texas — For the first time in history, American Chess Magazine will release a list of their Top 1…
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Patrick Crooks
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I was having a typical Saturday evening home. Turned down the lights, locked the doors, put on the newest Sean…
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