Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — Self-described “cinema aficionado” Kevin Clifford has spent the past several months becoming fluent in Japanese in order…
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James Knapp
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local 20-somethings Ashton Knoll and Kevin Stohl were approved yesterday for a second mortgage on their fiddle…
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Patrick Crooks
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BOSTON — A study by researchers at MIT has found that nearly every person who has publicly denounced a canceled…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Local man Shaun Clemens is reportedly planning to spend St. Patrick’s Day in his usual leprechaun costume, drinking…
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Ryan Danley
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PHILADELPHIA — Local Irish-themed punk rock band The Drunken Fighting Lads are being suspiciously protective of the ethnic background results…
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Patrick Crooks
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WALDORF, Md. — Otherwise well-adjusted 37-year-old adult Sean Collier realized yesterday that he still folds under the slightest peer pressure…
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Patrick Crooks
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WORCESTER, Mass. — Local punk Britney Callahan assured onlookers moments ago that despite the rather violent scuffle she was involved…
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Ramona Apthorp
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AGOURA HILLS, Calif. — Local nü-metal band Hog Washer can’t decide which of the countless butthole puns they thought of…
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Patrick Coyne
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LOS ANGELES — An alleged serial killer and millennial is taunting LAPD and terrorizing the city through a series of…
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Aviva Siegel
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VACAVILLE, Calif. — Punk teens and local high school students Bri Chambers and Daniel Hernandez ditched their Zoom classes late…
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