Laura Merli
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced today that Americans who have been surgically attached to…
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Literally A Koala
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DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Local sous chef and frequent masturbater Kyle Myers would not pause his jerk-off session Monday when his…
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Tony Morse
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VANCOUVER, Wash. — Covert racist Nancy Jensen admitted she is sick of her more conspicuously bigoted husband receiving all the…
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Jake Menez
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PHOENIX — Stead Ned, the guitarist for the Ned Flanders-inspired heavy metal band Okilly Dokilly, is worried about his missing…
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Kevin Tit
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BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Local dad and lifelong jock Patrick Bruckheimer is forcing his home-schooled teenage son to take showers upstairs…
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Stephen Bell
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Richard Gere is known to be one of the silver foxes of Hollywood. With a full head of peppered grey…
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Krissy Howard
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UNITED STATES — Straight guy musicians from around the country who usually can’t shut the fuck up about how much…
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John Dixon
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BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local man James Bo finally fulfilled his lifelong dream of growing out his hair last month, only…
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Dan Kozuh
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NORCROSS, Ga. — Local man Craig Barnett, who quit smoking in 1995, discovered a box yesterday filled with Camel cigarettes's…
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Laura McCarthy
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TRØNDELAG COUNTY, Norway — News of departed Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott’s 2004 death just reached the isolated Kjårn tribe…
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