NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new study suggests that the average punk unknowingly has sex with five people who go by the name “Spider” over…
ROSSITER, Pa. — Your long-term girlfriend Lisa Sandoval found your recent Instagram activity “kinda funny” and “a little weird, if I’m being honest” late Tuesday…
Quintessential indie rock band Pavement has crafted some of the most iconic independent music of the last 30 years, and their influence has left its…
BAYONNE, N.J. — Rooney’s Tavern resident sad guy John Russo is reportedly nothing more than a lonely, pathetic alcoholic, despite matching the description of every…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a DIY venue, according to sources…
CINCINNATI — Self-described anarcho-punk and Wells Fargo bank teller Gary Morin claimed again today that he only took his job 12 years ago to bring…
Recently, The Hard Times recently had an opportunity to interview influential indie rock band The National. But on the day the interview was scheduled for…
WASHINGTONVILLE, N.Y. — 30-year-old pop-punk fan T.J. Keen pushed the limits of age and style last night by wearing an ill-fitting Joyce Manor T-shirt to…
UTICA, N.Y. — A local hipster was terrorizing shoppers leaving an area Trader Joe’s grocery store yesterday, asking if they’ve ever heard of legendary Upstate…
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Termagant Pharmaceuticals product strategy intern Jeremy Hastings impressed colleagues last week by receiving more allegations of sexual harassment than any other…
Recently, the elitist SJWs of The Hard Times took a moment out of our busy lives of canceling posers to visit some dusty old butthole…
NEW YORK — Democratic Presidential hopeful Andrew Yang defended himself this morning when a small, highly opinionated faction of citizens were offended by recently surfaced…
DANVILLE, Calif. — Local man Owen Nelson was completely convinced last night that the entire world is run by an elite cabal of billionaire financiers…
NEW YORK —The Misfits updated their show rider yesterday, demanding the marshmallows in their Count Chocula cereal be separated from the rest of the food…
PASADENA, Calif. — Classmates turned and stared expectantly yesterday at high school student and local punk Samuel “The Cat” Chesters after geometry teacher Selena Bryson…