Andrew Murphy
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SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous…
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John Danek
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DALLAS — Rhythm guitarist and craft beer connoisseur Kirk Tenly reportedly hasn’t seen his own pedalboard since the late 2000s…
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Tiana Miller
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NEW HOPE, Pa. — Local straight man Scott Stevenson was spotted acting weirdly jealous around lesbian woman and acquaintance at…
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Nathan Kamal
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HOUSTON — Famed environmental superhero and holographic android Captain Planet announced he would be accepting a position as a paid…
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Nick Ortolani
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SASKATOON — Violence nearly erupted following an argument between a local Canadian and a visiting metalhead over the cultural origins…
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John Danek
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DENVER — Local man Ian Vernor horrified his roommates yesterday by inauspiciously sniffing his pointer and middle fingers, recoiling in…
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Dan Luberto
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STUDIO CITY, Calif. — Popular game show “Jeopardy!” ceased filming mid-episode last week when contestant and off-duty police officer Jamie…
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Krissy Howard
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RIDGEWOOD, N.Y. — Local creep Lance Weems narrowly squeezed past two women at a limited capacity venue last night despite…
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local tattoo enthusiast Ben Drury admitted that the meaning behind a large tattoo of a viking skeleton…
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ALBANY, N.Y. — Local show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham recently posted a photo to Instagram that showed him pocketing cash…
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