COLUMBUS, Ohio — 41-year-old punk Kaira Rojas is concerned her new drug dealer is ripping her off, paying increasingly high prices for medication she needs…
SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — Dying punk Anthony Mafodda is reportedly on his deathbed today at Phelps Hospital and ready to utter his final words, but…
The current state of the economy is bleak and many are asking the reason why. Well, it turns out that our recession was caused by…
NUTLEY, W.V. — A small-town Waffle House has been recognized as the only space the local punk scene can claim as a venue, despite its…
SAN FRANCISCO — Lifelong straight edger Timothy Sharp tipped $5 on a glass of tap water last night, thanks to his ignorance of bar etiquette…
OAKLAND, Calif. — A loose nail on the stage at a campaign stop earlier this week led to the revelation that Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders…
URBANA, Ill. — The album “The Fire Between Us Is Quelled And It Is What It Is” by emo band Ripcord Falls reportedly made local…
NEW YORK — The Lower East Side crust punk scene is gripped by debate over the credibility veteran scene icon Bradley “Lice” Skeever, who is…
NEW YORK — Local rioter and 26-year-old woman Nikki Kraushaar reportedly threw molotov White Claws early this morning into a building during a protest against…
MONTREAL — Gildan CEO Glenn Chamandy left many people feeling vindicated today, admitting in a press conference that he has never once seen an actual…
BISBEE, Ariz. — Self-proclaimed punk sommelier and admitted problem-drinker Tegan Nixon strongly recommended that wine drinkers avoid Franzia made after 2015, “unless they wanna look…
CINCINNATI — Friendless, pathetic loser Sonny Robertson attempted to remedy his loneliness yesterday by starting a group text with his Verizon bill reminder texts and…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local indie band C4 and a Chocolate Bar severely overestimated their show attendance and audience’s wants last night by offering free EPs to…
BOSTON — The Dropkick Murphys’ first official “Shipping Up to Boston” Cruise occurred last week and remained docked in Boston Harbor for the entire duration…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Married couple Dave and Sarah Dyer allegedly conceived and birthed a newborn child on purpose within the last year, subsequently horrifying…