SAN DIEGO — Thanks to the slowdown in day-to-day police activity, local officer Scott Martinson is now committing abuses of power against members of his…
LANSING, Mich. — A new punk census surveyed scenes across the nation gauging the health of local DIY communities, and alarmingly found the numbers everywhere…
LOS ANGELES — Popular podcast host Joe Rogan is set to become the first-ever artist played on the Spotify platform to be properly compensated, thanks…
Local Venue That Kicked You Out for Fighting, Lighting Fires Has a Lot of Nerve Asking for Donations
Local Venue That Kicked You Out for Fighting, Lighting Fires Has a Lot of Nerve Asking for Donations
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. –– Management at local venue The Corner Spot, who kicked you out for starting fights and lighting a trash can on fire last…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Streaming giant Hulu announced Tuesday that, due to nationwide stay-at-home orders, fans of the mid-2000s sitcom “Scrubs” now must acknowledge the…
NEW YORK — Quarantined man Michael Gray repeated his rigid daily routine moments ago when he turned off his alarm, got out of bed, and…
BOSTON — Ska legends The Mighty Mighty Bosstones announced today that they will reopen for business this week at 50% capacity by furloughing their horn…
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Recently deceased Amazon warehouse worker Freddie Romero was named “Employee of the Month” yesterday for his tireless work ethic and refusing…
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Lifelong nerd Nate Guajardo emerged from a local Planet Fitness facility today “beefed out as fuck” after being trapped inside the gym…
DALLAS — Local small aircraft pilot Skippy Barnes is supplementing his skywriting income with a clandestine, government-backed chemical-spraying side gig, high-level sources demanding anonymity confirmed.…
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Mattie Foster, known for her drunken outbursts at shows, is now simply loud and wasted at home due to Los…
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — A quarantined couple stuck in the same house under self-isolation since March ended their one-and-a-half year-long relationship after a grueling, tedious, and…
WASHINGTON — Governors from all 50 states agreed that shelter-in-place orders would firmly remain on your shitty band as the rest of the country sees…
NEW YORK — Local man Marc Ramsey has baked a life-size sourdough girlfriend to combat his quarantine-induced loneliness, concerned sources report. “When the pandemic first…
BLUE ISLAND, Ill. — Local father Lucas Carroll is doing his best to homeschool his children during coronavirus stay-at-home orders, even though his area of…