Bernie Sanders officially ended his bid for the White House today, ceding the Democratic nomination to former Vice President Joe Biden. Many have been calling…
As we wait patiently for president dementia tits to take a break from eating taco bowls while wiping his ass with girl scouts and weigh…
WASHINGTON — Members of the Democratic National Committee expressed frustration about the annoying escort mission to get former vice president Joe Biden into the White…
WASHINGTON — President Trump has announced plans to unleash a giant squid on each of the major cities in the United States in an effort…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Senator Bernie Sanders has called on Nintendo to preemptively release the much-anticipated Animal Crossing: New…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is being attacked by prominent Democrats today after he claimed he found Mew under a truck in his original playthrough…
PHILADELPHIA — Staffers within the Joe Biden presidential campaign are reportedly begging the former Vice President to stop mashing the A-button through all of his…
WASHINGTON — Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren dropped out of the 2020 presidential race following a rough Super Tuesday showing where it was revealed she polled…
UNITED STATES — After years and countless experience points towards progression, America has finally reached a high enough level to evolve to its next form.…
LOS ANGELES — A confused Vice President Joe Biden announced he is dropping out of the democratic primary contest today, throwing his weight behind moderate…
EL PASO, Texas — Convicted pedophile Marcus Fleming killed two birds with one stone earlier today when he canvassed for Michael Bloomberg during court-mandated neighborhood…
DENVER — Local pornography enthusiast Brett Wallace was caught off guard moments ago by an advertisement for Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg while watching a…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg held a press conference today to announce the end of his presidential campaign after realizing he was not…
WASHINGTON — Democratic National Committee officials are reportedly scrambling to fix their Vote Blue Matter Who campaign now that it has inspired millions around the…