BERKELEY, Calif. — ‘90s alt-rock band Counting Crows finally announced the subject of their hit song “Mr. Jones” is none other than Dr. Henry Walton…
LOS ANGELES — Members of the paparazzi are reportedly devastated to learn that popstar Britney Spears was being exploited for years through a conservatorship, without…
LOS ANGELES — Local aspiring indie rock musician since he was 14 years old, Adrian Kidwell, reportedly credits his metronome with counting the time he…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local Vampire Weekend fan Archie Poole felt betrayed, confused, and saddened this week after hearing the music of his so-called “favorite band”…
OURAY, Col. — Researchers at the Ouray Audiology Research Facility were equally thrilled and confused that a recently discovered Gregorian chant from 1592 somehow has…
LOS ANGELES — A recent study conducted by music researchers at UCLA concluded that Blink-182’s “Greatest Hits” album from 2005 isn’t in need of any…
If you grew up in the nineties, the alternative rock radio hits of the day probably bring you back to things like eating Nic Nacs,…
LOS ANGELES — Acoustic guitarist Harry “Wild Child” Kearns caused a mass evacuation from a local vaccine site with his terrible acoustic renditions of pop…
David Bowie re-wrote the book on what it means to be a pop icon. Through his era-defining characters and alter egos, he was able to…
NEW YORK — Local gamer and financial wizard Thomas Kleinman impressed his friends and family with the news that he had inked a deal worth…
ISLIP, N.Y. — Everything Done in Latin frontman Lawrence Joseph has lost interest in the band he’s been part of for 15 years after the…
SALT LAKE CITY — Longtime Imagine Dragons fan Katie Graham celebrated her 11th birthday this week with a dull celebration modeled after her favorite band’s…
MIAMI — Proto-punk legend Iggy Pop removed the torso section from his hazmat suit yesterday, designed to protect the aging rocker from contracting COVID-19, concerned…
LONDON, England — The Central Criminal Court of England and Wales shocked reporters today in calling for the immediate release of Video, incarcerated since found…
Internet Can’t Fucking Wait to Push Newly Famous Artist to Psychological Ruin
SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous musician Hank Todd past the…